new low.... made out with someone while peeing
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
