"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
