I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
