I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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