Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
