You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
