I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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