Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize