its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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