hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
