Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
