I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
