I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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