On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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