Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
