She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish I only lived at night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My vagina is very pro this idea
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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