She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
