Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
