I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
