I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
