I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Life is so much better after having sex.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
