Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
