how do flat chested girls get laid?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
