He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Pappa wants mamma naked
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
