I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
