you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
