Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
