I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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