I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh god it's open bar.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
