If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
