his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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