I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
