Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
