**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
