Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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