You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
