you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
