Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
