Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
