I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
