I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
