I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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