This show inspires me to have sex in space
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
