I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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