you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the condom got lost in my hair
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
