Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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