No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
