and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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