how can u be prego again
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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