i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
