I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
