If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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