yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
