I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
