porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
